Why you need to stop trying to be a perfect Mom

Should I breastfeed or bottle feed? Swaddle or co-sleep? Read to them every night or just hold them close? Never yell or keep my frustrations to myself? Gee, that’s a lot of questions to ask oneself!

“Perfection” in terms of motherhood pretty much alludes to the best of us no matter how hard we try. And yet, we keep apologizing for our shortcomings that seem undoubtedly, normal. So, I stopped being the ‘perfect” mom; and just became, Mom.

I can’t do everything right. I simply can’t. I, more than likely, came to terms with that after I realized that I fail to control my outbursts with the children when I get upset.

It all began by simply recognizing that I lose it and I fail. I used to beat myself up for it. Usually starting with “I shouldn’t have…I could’ve done it better…what if they didn’t…if only…” and on and on and on.

I get it. I’m not perfect. What am I really trying to prove? More importantly, WHO am I trying to prove it to? Am I trying to prove something to my own mother? My in-laws? My husband or partner? More than likely, there was this driving external force to compel me to believe I COULD BE this perfect mom – IF…

If I took every single bit of their advice and ignored my own inner mom-stincts.
If I decided to hold in my frustrations and bury my emotional feelings.
If I decided to “follow the pack” of child-rearing; what’s acceptable for the latest fad and trend.
If I decided to stop being human.
Isn’t that what it really boils down to? If you aren’t human, that’s really the ONLY way you’ll be the perfect mom. That, or dead.

Since you are alive and well, let’s just state it like it is: Perfection is terribly over-rated and downright unrealistic. Acknowledge this truth and you, too, can stop being the perfect mom and just be your child(ren)’s mom. That is who they need.

They need the mom who yells at them for the little things and later apologizes – because that’s real life.

They need the mom who messes up the cake she was supposed to bring to the PTA meeting and rushes the kids out the door so they can pick up one on the way out.

They need the mom who sticks to her guns and stands by her decisions, regardless of what others think.

They need the imperfect mom, because one day your child will be too and they need to know, it’s okay to choose not to be the perfect mom.