DATING FOR SINGLE MUM

Dating for single mums is often tough in this part of the world.  Not only do you have to deal with social discrimination and derogatory words like ‘after one’,  but you’ve to also constantly prove that it’s your ‘bad character’ that made you a singe mum.  

Also, with children involved, the stakes of dating for a single mum are higher. Here are some tips on what to do if you decide to date as a single mum.

Make sure the timing is perfect

Please ensure that you are really ready to move on from your Ex before thinking of dating. Doing this will ensure you don’t get entangled in a love triangle. It also shields your new love interest in Ex drama. If you do this, it will help you give your new love interest the attention they deserve. 

Be cautious in introducing your love interest to your kids.  

Whether you’ve got a little child or a teenager, introducing someone new to your kids is always an adjustment. Springing a new partner on your child can be confusing, and you don’t want to do it suddenly. Younger kids may not understand who this new person in your life is, and older kids may feel awkward about seeing you with someone that’s not their father. As a general rule, it’s usually not a good idea to introduce a partner to your kids unless you’re extremely serious about them.

Don’t hide your situation

You’ll be saving yourself a lot of time if you’re direct about your situation from the start. Let potential partners know about your kids early on, or if you’re using a dating app, include that you’re a single mom in your bio. 

There’s no use sitting through dinner or a movie only to find out that your partner isn’t a fan of children. While some people may not engage with you if they learn you have children, but the right people will.

Define your purpose   

Understanding your goals before you begin dating someone can ensure you don’t waste your time with someone who’s looking for something completely different. And, don’t hesitate to tell a new interest what you want out of a relationship, either. 

With this approach,you’ll weed out the people who want different things and keep your focus on people whose goals align with yours. 

Don’t feel guilty for desiring love

Although you may be a single parent, you’re still a woman, and it’s natural to desire a fulfilling and romantic relationship. Making yourself happy doesn’t have to come at the sacrifice of being an inattentive parent. 

In fact, being happy and in love may bleed into your parenting style – you could find that by focusing on yourself, you become a more loving, present parent. 

Avoid too much mention of your ex in your conversation.

As a single mom, your child’s father (and your “ex”) plays a more prominent role in your life than most people’s exes might. You could be on good terms and see them regularly, or it could be a messy situation that you’re trying to resolve in a courtroom. Regardless, it’s hard for single moms to leave their exes in the past when they’re still heavily a part of the present.